Prieks, ka vakar piecēlu dirsu un aizgāju uz biologu spēļu vakaru. Ja ne tas, vakars nebūtu izvērties tik patīkams. Pēc spēļu vaka sastapu vecus un jaunus paziņas. Tiku aizvilkts uz četriem baltiem krekliem, kur nekad nebiju vēl bijis. Iespējams atklāju perfekto alkohola daudzumu/kombināciju labam vakaram un saplānuju atpūtu nākamai nedēļai.
Tomēr nakamās dienas sākums, neskatoties uz to, ka paģiru nebija pilnīgi un galīgi, bija diametrāli pretējs. Seja joprojām sāp.
Old friendships fall apart or simply fade away. But new ones come in their place. Better, stronger friendships. I have successfully surrounded myself with like minded people. Life, for the most part, is great.
I used to be sentimental and sweet guy. Now It seems to me that I’m all rotten up inside. One might argue that by acknowledging it, it say’s that I actually am not. I don’t even care about my future anymore. At least not to a degree that I used to. All I do now is go day by day numbing my brain and waiting… for something. Or am I really? Maybe I’m just willingly driving down the road, seeing an approaching curve and not caring whether I roll down hill or not. I don’t even care about affections anymore - couldn’t care less. But damn, I hate sitting in this room. It is suffocating me. I just sit here and drink beer, smoke my hookah and do nothing - just like now.
I am becoming distant with my friends and with my family - which is always a bad sign. But I am so deep in my pit of lies that I’m afraid there’s no crawling back out.
Bottom line - I think my lack of character has taken the best of me. I am done.